Marriage sucks - Rebuttal

You might think that that our marriage is a little rocky after reading Mirinda's last blog entry, but I am here to tell you that our marriage is the best it has ever been and is always getting better, simply because of one reason, because we work at being married.
And if you have been married for any more than five years or so, you know this and if you have been married longer than that, you defiantly know this and appreciate the work that you and your spouse put into your marriage.
I remember when Mirinda first told me she felt like this, I was a little taken back by it too, but when she explained things to me It made a little sense to me, but I accepted it, because the last thing she said to me at that point was that, "despite all the lousy stuff about me and our marriage, she loved me and accepted it and was willing to work on our marriage.

One of our favorite singer/song writers David Wilcox, put marriage best in his song "Good Together" on his CD "Live: Songs and Stories, when he was telling a story about a single friend who had had several failed relationships. His hapless friend said to Dave, that marriage sounds like a lot of work, to which Dave replied, "Yeah, it is, but it's good work, if you can "get it." I somehow think that Dave just didn't mean get it as in obtain it, I think he also meant to understand it in that marriage is a lot of work too. Which is that just how we see it, because we've got a good marriage and we understand that it take a lot of work to maintain our marriage.

For those of you who are married, I encourage you to thank your spouse for being married and tell them a couple of reasons why you love them and why you appreciate them. It will do you and your marriage good.

Thanks for loving me Mirinda! You are a great wife!
Brian
;-)

Marriage sucks

Marriage sucks! I have always thought the only thing worse than being married, is not being married.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and there is nothing that makes me happier than being a wife. But marriage is hard. It is compromise and cooperation and sacrificing for the greater good. Maybe I was single to long and had too many years when the best date was an evening alone.

My husband is making me crazy. He doesn’t know how to not be employed and I don’t know how to get anything done with him home. You would think with both of us at home we would be able to get twice as much done, but the opposite seems to be true. This is especially frustrating as I work from home and this is my busy time.

The fall conference is coming up and I have a million details to take care of, name tags, sponsors, and one last check with the speakers. Not to mention I have a kitchen full of tomatoes waiting to be canned. Of course there is always the usual vacuum, pick up, mop the floor.

Don’t get me wrong, it is so nice to share my morning coffee with my best friend. Not only is the conversation better then with the cats, but he knows just how I like my toes snuggled. But when snuggle time is over, he doesn’t know what to do with himself and I don’t know where to start.

I think that dating is a horrible way to choose a spouse. What does going to dinner and a movie, or bowling, or the opera have to do with being married? It is easy to find someone you want to have fun with, what is hard is finding someone you want to work with. Finding someone you want to go through the good times with is so much easier than finding someone you want to go through the bad times with. I once read that the decision to spend the rest of your life with someone should rest on one question- is this someone I want next to me when my mother dies? I don’t know if I agree with the specifics but the sentiment is right.

My sister will be getting married soon. Sometimes I get to know these things. After years as a single parent she is finally ready for the love of her life. I know that when the thrill of new love has past, and the arguments over toothpaste brands and hard or soft tacos have been settled, she will know what I do- that marriage sucks. And just like Brian and I, I hope they live happily, and unhappily, ever after. Because the only thing that sucks worse than being married, is not being married.

Opportunity?

It’s supposed to freeze Tuesday or Wednesday so it’s time to bring in all the peppers and tomatoes and start putting the garden to bed.

I am busy filling the freezer with stuffed green peppers- my favorite way to preserve them, tomato basil pasta sauce- tastes like summer and must be made with fresh from the garden tomatoes and basil. Latter I will be making Verde and if I can find pine nuts for a decent price, pesto. I will bring the green tomatoes in and can them as they ripen.

I love canning and preserving our garden. I get to think about how good the food will taste in winter when I am hungry for the sun and miss being outside. I feel nurturing, taking care of my family. I feel connected to the generations of women who have put up and put by. And I love the secure feeling of knowing that whatever else happens, we have cans of tomatoes.

I am really clinging to that security part this weekend.

Brian is now a full time job hunter. For those of you who were betting on which would happen first- quit, get fired, find a new job- they asked him to leave Friday.

We are both feeling relieved, hopeful and a bit scared.

I am really proud of him, he has worked for 6 months at a job that made him miserable in so many ways and made the best of it. This job was bad fit from the beginning, but as it was allowing us to pay the mortgage on the Team Schiele World Headquarters, so he put up with all sorts of $%#! and stuck it out.

Things may be crazy between now and whenever it is that he finds a job, but we are in it together and grateful that we have options an opportunities. And we are grateful for those stuffed peppers in the freezer.

What was once white is now....

If you've ever been to any of the two places we've owned, you'll know that Team Schiele, loves color.
So for the last little while I have been painting the front door to the Team Schiele World HQ.
As you may recall the front door was a plain white, really boring I know!
Well thanks the magic of two quarts of paint and a lot more elbow grease I am happy to announce that, that boring while door is now RED!
More specially, it's "quiet red".

The plain white door before:

The "quiet red" door now:

I also wanted to thank everyone that reads this for the birthday wishes. Thanks!
Brian

Happy Birthday Brian

39 things I love about my husband on his 39th Birthday 9/9/09
1. Passion for life
2. Sparkly eyes
3. Great ‘eye’ for photos
4. They way he makes me giggle
5. Love of country
6. He is brave- he goes to a job that is not a good fit for him and makes the best of it.
7. Best barista ever
8. He always kisses my goodbye, even if I am not awake enough to remember it
9. The way he treats my mom
10. He can let me have my way and still be the boss
11. He says I love you in his sleep
12. He gets along with almost everyone
13. Pure laugh
14. He never forgets extra pickles on my cheeseburgers
15. Fun dance partner
16. Cutest grill sergeant
17. Best chili chef
18. He doesn’t do football
19. Fly’s the flag at half staff every time a soldier from Utah dies
20. Creative
21. Listens when I say “I was thinking…”
22. Thinks I’m sexy
23. Gets excited about chickens
24. Knows his way around the kitchen
25. If I forget to lock the door, he worries that someone will steal his wife
26. Better then Google
27. Loves to learn
28. Our hands fit
29. Holga Master
30. He doesn’t give up
31. Loves God
32. Cheesy humor
33. Very romantic
34. He’s fun
35. He married me
36. Great host
37. He is grateful for what he has
38. Quick to forgive
39. Willing to be the father of our child

Vegetarian dinners?

I am looking for quick, easy and yummy vegetarian dinners. I have found that all my vegetarian recipes are either variations of beans and rice or pasta. We have not given up meat, we are still omnivores, but we are now participating in Meatless Mondays.

It recently came to my attention that Brian’s cholesterol is too high.

When I say it came to my attention, I mean that I spent an entire afternoon freaking out that his life insurance was going to cost more than mine, significantly more. Now I know I am not the picture of health, but I always thought Brian was. After all, he was a soldier and had to pass physicals and fitness tests for his ‘job.’ And now they were telling me that his risk of death was so high that we could only afford the ‘minimum’ life insurance. I was sure he was going to die any day and leave me and our as yet to be adopted child, homeless and penniless and living in pioneer park.

I decided that something had to be done. And not just talk about increasing the produce in our diets and decreasing the take out. It was time for a real change. I declared that we were going to start Meatless Mondays and Fish Fridays.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that Meatless Mondays is a movement. Whoo Hoo we are part of a movement. There is a website and everything: http://www.meatlessmonday.com/ Cutting meat one day a week saves money, your health, and the environment.

One day a week is good for me. I have tried vegetarianism and found that I came to a better understanding of my body and how it works, and mine works best with some meat. But that was many many years ago, and I don’t think I was doing much cooking then.

So anyone have any good vegetarian recipes? If not it looks like an omelet for dinner this Monday.

P.S. we had our black beans in a rice and bean burrito this week. Yummy.

Doesn’t add up to a hill of beans

One of our garden experiments this year has been dry or field beans. We tried a variety of kidney and a black bean. We tired just one square of each, that’s what you do with an experiment, start small and see how it goes. We planted with visions of homemade chili made with our very own beans.


As an experiment it was a great success. I harvested our beans yesterday. They were easy and grew well without much fuss. They dried nicely and are lovely if I do say so.

As a harvest, I have to say I am not sure if this was a grand idea. You can see how well we did. These are quart jars for scale. We may have just over a cup if we put them together.


I don’t know how much space we would have to dedicate to beans to get a real harvest, but at least a 4X4 box, maybe more.


We will have to think about this one.


Our corn is also ready to harvest! Unfortunately because we were not thinking when we planted it, it is all ready now. We didn’t like the frozen corn on the cob we tried last year so I will need to find a different preservation method. Any suggestions?