I am falling in love with my husband all over again. We are both feeling a love and a peace that has been missing for a while now. The decision to adopt has been a difficult one, and has torn us apart in ways we didn’t even realize until we decided that this is what we are going to do. It is such a big decision, not only to add a child to our family, but to do it in this way. You don’t know what you’re getting, but you know it is going to be hard.
We had been talking about adoption for years, and had finally decided that we would not bring a child in our lives. We had decided that Ian was enough, the few weeks he is with us and the little contact we have. We have a great life and why fix what is not broken. And then my biological clock, which had never ticked, rang. Loudly!
It took a while for Brian to hear that this is not something I want but something I NEED. I need to care for a child. I have raised corn and cats, and hopefully one day chickens, but I need to raise a child. And while I love my step son, it’s not enough. While I think our relationship is special, I am not his mom. He has a mom.
Brian on the other hand was thinking that one kid, that breaks his heart with the distance between them, is enough. He worries about having enough money for the things that we enjoy and that are important to us. He worries about having enough time to be a good parent and for our marriage and for those things he likes to do. He worries that a child might come between us.
Somehow he has come to the decision that he will trust me that this is right for us. And that leap of faith in me, in us, has my heart doing loops of love and joy. What an amazing man I married.
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7 comments:
Thinking of you...loves!
Wow...that's all I can say.
Preludes to life changing events are life changing. Here is to the journey, process, and the blessings both seen and unseen.
Thanks for sharing that with us. We are glad that Brian has come around because we have always thought that you guys are great parents. Good luck with this process.
This has brought tears to my eyes. I am so happy for you both. Love you!
I love you both!!
As I read your post it was interesting for me to think about our different situations; me not really having the choice of kids they just came, and you being able to make that choice. Some days were incredibly hard and I thought twice about those little stinkers always under my feet. Then there were days I had sooo much fun with them that I wished they were little forever. Now that they are grown and gone I have missed them terribly! I love Harvey with all my heart, it's a bit different with my kids, a little different kind of love. But a truly amazing love I could never quite explain. I am excited for you to have/ feel that feeling too! It's priceless, but hold on, it's a wild ride!!
Kay
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