Commencement

Tonight we graduated from the foster care classes and now have only “Packet B” before we can have our home study and be licensed to adopt.

What a rollercoaster this class has been as it prepares us for the real ride we are about to begin. My thoughts and feeling have completely changed over the 32 hours. If I can sum it up in one sentence, there are a lot of kids out there that need to be loved back to happily ever after.

I am no longer resentful of the piles of paperwork, the hours of classes, and the personal examination. If the hoops we have to jump through prevent one kid from being taken from a bad situation to another bad situation it is worth it.

I also feel that if the first child that comes to our home, does not end up being our daughter that I will just be honored for the opportunity to love her and help bring about what is best for her.
I went into this wanting. Wanting to do whatever ridiculous dance I had to do to get my daughter. I just wanted my kid. I was hungry to be a parent.

Now I just feel so full of love and hope for not only the children that need foster and adoptive parents, but for their parents.

Before I felt nothing but negativity, contempt and hatred, for anyone who would dare harm a child, but especially someone who could hurt, or allow to be hurt, their own flesh. Now I have a greater sympathy for those that have their child removed from them. Before the classes I felt nothing but heroism for the opportunity to save a child. Now I feel so sad for the loss the child will suffer at being torn from the only parent they know, no matter what a monster that parent may be.

I am sure this peace will not last. I know I will be annoyed as I learn to live with locks on cupboards and doors. I know I will be impatient as the process continues. I know I will be angry as I learn what someone has done to a child I love. But I am so grateful for this deep, emotional, understanding. I am grateful for this education.